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THIS IS SATIRE. The Bellend Times is a parody site. Each piece is a comic rewrite of a real, published news report about public figures' public words and actions; the satirical headlines and jokes are invented opinion and exaggeration and must not be read as statements of fact, nor attributed to the original publishers. For the actual facts, read the linked originals. We make no allegations beyond what those reports contain, and where a source says "accused", "alleged" or "pending", so do we. Ads, horoscopes and the dictionary are fiction. Original stories © their publishers (ABC News (Australia), Al Jazeera, BBC News, BBC News NI, Byline Times, CNBC, DutchNews.nl, Evening Standard, Express & Star, Hürriyet Daily News, JOE, Lancashire Telegraph, Left Foot Forward, Nation.Cymru, Newsweek, Searchlight, The Guardian, The Independent, The London Economic, The National, Unilad, WalesOnline, indy100); we only link to them. Spotted a mistake? Request a correction or email bellendtimes@mail.grokbot.com .
Stories curated 2026-11-02 · 50 stories · No migrants, minorities or victims were mocked in the making of this site.
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