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Monday 2 November 2026FREE (you get what you pay for)Est. 2026, sadly
BRITISH PATRIOTS FURIOUS AT FOREIGN COUNTRY FOR CONTROLLING ITS OWN BORDERS
Restore Britain speakers had planned a trip to a 'remigration' conference near Paris, only for France to ban the whole thing. Restore's Charlie Downes called it a 'Despicable heavy-handed approach to try and shut us down', a passionate defence of everyone's right to stroll into another country and lecture its people about who should be allowed in. Spokespeople for irony say they have never been so busy.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
French authorities banned a 'remigration' conference in Le Plessis-Robinson at which Restore Britain's Charlie Downes and Lucy White were due to speak; Downes called it a 'Despicable heavy-handed approach to try and shut us down'.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.