75,000 ONLINE PATRIOTS DESCEND ON MANCHESTER, ALL 60 OF THEM
North West Patriots boast 75,000 supporters on social media. Come the big day in Manchester, around 60 actually turned up, which is a conversion rate that would get a double-glazing salesman sacked. They were outnumbered by at least 300 to 400 anti-racists, while another 20 or so ended up kettled on a tram platform in St Peter's Square with, as Searchlight puts it, 'nowhere to go but home'. The event was billed as 'Churchill's Angels', despite an almost total absence of angels, women, or Churchill.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
North West Patriots claim 75,000 social media supporters, but around 60 far-right demonstrators turned out in Manchester and were outnumbered by at least 300-400 Stand Up To Racism supporters; about 20 'auditors' and hangers-on ended up kettled on a St Peter's Square tram platform; one group's turnout was 'all 20 of them'; the 'Churchill's Angels' event drew strikingly few women.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY Searchlight · 1 Nov 2026: “Manchester mobilisation leaves far right outnumbered, divided and going nowhere”
Gaffe-o-Meter: No named individual – a team effort · Outfit: Assorted 'patriot' groups