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Monday 2 November 2026FREE (you get what you pay for)Est. 2026, sadly
The Bellend Times

Patriotically Taking The Mick – Now With 40% More Flags Than Facts

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AUSSIE FIREBRAND FLIES 10,000 MILES TO WARN EMPTY CHAIRS ABOUT LONDON

One Nation's Pauline Hanson travelled from Australia to address CPAC London, where fewer than a quarter of the seats were filled and at least a dozen of the roughly 120 people present were journalists. She called it a 'fact-finding mission'; the main fact found was that nobody came. Her verdict on the host city – 'London, no thank you' – was warmly received by London, which returned the sentiment in person by staying home.

THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS

Australian senator Pauline Hanson addressed CPAC London to about 120 people with fewer than a quarter of seats filled, starting about 15 minutes late; at least a dozen in the audience were journalists; she called the trip a 'fact-finding mission' and said 'We're so stupid over there' and 'London, no thank you'.

Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.

REAL STORY ABC News (Australia) · 18 Jul 2026: “Pauline Hanson delivers CPAC London speech to mostly empty seats”

Gaffe-o-Meter: Pauline Hanson · Outfit: One Nation

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