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Monday 2 November 2026FREE (you get what you pay for)Est. 2026, sadly
DEFENDERS OF CHRISTIAN BRITAIN FURIOUS AT CHURCH FOR DOING CHURCH STUFF
Unite the Right UK held an anti-immigration rally outside Doncaster Minster, only to discover it clashed with bell-ringing practice, which duly drowned out the speeches. The guardians of Christian heritage then got so cross with the actual Christian vicar that police had to form a line between them and him. Meanwhile UKIP's big London march mustered around 20 people against roughly 150 counter-protesters. Ding dong, the vibe is dead.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
Unite the Right UK rallied outside Doncaster Minster during bell-ringing practice; the bells rang over the speeches; demonstrators tried to confront the vicar and police formed a line; in London about 20 UKIP supporters faced about 150 counter-protesters.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.