RESTORE BRITAIN SURGES TO VICTORY IN 21 SCOTTISH SEATS, THEN ZERO, AFTER SOMEONE CHECKS THE SUMS
Rupert Lowe hailed a 'remarkable' poll showing Restore Britain ahead of Reform and the Tories in 21 Scottish seats. Then someone fixed a calculation error and the number became, er, none – with the mistake spotted by fellow right-winger Raheem Kassam, which must have nipped. Restore didn't respond, presumably still counting on its fingers.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
Rupert Lowe posted that a poll put Restore ahead of Reform and the Tories in 21 Scottish seats, calling it 'remarkable'; a tactical-voting calculation error meant that once corrected Restore led in zero; the error was spotted by Raheem Kassam.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY The National · 23 Oct 2026: “Far-right Restore Britain's Scottish poll boast exposed as error”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Rupert Lowe · Outfit: Restore Britain