JENRICK SLAMS JOURNALIST FOR ASKING JOURNALISM AT HIM
Asked on GMB whether he had 'defector's remorse' – what with the half-empty hall and YouGov putting Reform third on 20% – Robert Jenrick bravely diagnosed the real problem: Paul Brand is 'a left-wing commentator and activist'. 'You always just ask negative questions,' he complained. Brand pointed out that he is in fact the journalist who helped reveal partygate, which is the kind of left-wing activism that used to get Tory ministers sacked. Future questions will presumably need to arrive gift-wrapped.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
On Good Morning Britain Paul Brand asked Jenrick about 'defector's remorse', citing a half-empty hall and polls showing Reform third on 20% (YouGov); Jenrick called him 'a left-wing commentator and activist' who 'always just ask[s] negative questions'; Brand replied he is 'the journalist who helped reveal the partygate scandal'.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY Left Foot Forward · 30 Oct 2026: “Robert Jenrick in meltdown after ITV presenter asks if he has ‘defector’s remorse’”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Robert Jenrick · Outfit: Reform UK