PRESIDENT WHO HAS 'NEVER STUDIED THE BODY OF A MAN' PROVIDES 4,000-WORD STUDY
Donald Trump has assured America that he 'never studied the body of a man before' and 'It's not my thing' – before going on, at two separate rallies, to review a senator's backside in a level of detail normally reserved for a structural survey. CNN's Anderson Cooper responded with a montage of the President admiring blokes' physiques, crowning him the 'assman-in-chief'. The White House is yet to confirm whether the Husted review will appear in the presidential library.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
CNN's Anderson Cooper aired a montage of Trump praising men's physiques, dubbing him 'assman-in-chief', after Trump told rallies he had looked at Ohio Sen. Jon Husted's behind and that he 'never studied the body of a man before... It's not my thing'.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY The Independent · 22 Oct 2026: “Trump mocked by Anderson Cooper with on-air montage of him complimenting men’s bodies”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Donald Trump · Outfit: MAGA