REFORM'S ZIA YUSUF APPEARS ON BBC FOR NINTH TIME, LOSES TO A MAN WITH A BLOG
Zia Yusuf, a man the BBC apparently cannot stop silencing, made his fourth Question Time appearance of the year and his ninth since 2024. It went so well that he and Alastair Campbell ended up calling each other liars, before net zero did him like a kipper. Campbell's post-match review: everyone toasted Daisy Cooper's birthday except Yusuf, who 'legged it with his status symbol bodyguard', and he 'has lovely shoes though, but a very weak handshake'. Brutal, but the shoes are getting five stars from us.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
On his fourth Question Time of 2026 (ninth since 2024) Zia Yusuf and Alastair Campbell called each other liars and Yusuf struggled on net zero; Campbell later posted that everyone drank to Daisy Cooper's birthday 'apart from @ZiaYusufUK who legged it with his status symbol bodyguard', adding he 'has lovely shoes though, but a very weak handshake'.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY JOE · 30 Oct 2026: “Zia Yusuf has complete nightmare on latest Question Time appearance”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Zia Yusuf · Outfit: Reform UK