FARAGE PROMISES STRAIGHT TALKING, IMMEDIATELY ANNOUNCES HE WILL BE SIDESTEPPING
Nigel Farage, the man who 'says what everyone's thinking', was asked in Lancashire about the row the local press has christened 'Fartgate'. His answer, delivered with refreshing honesty: 'it's a very good question, one that I'm going to do my absolute best to sidestep completely.' For the record, the councillor involved says it was down to prescribed medication, so the only thing we're laughing at here is the nimblest footwork Nigel has shown since the Brexit bus.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
Asked in Lancashire about the 'Fartgate' row, Farage said 'it's a very good question, one that I'm going to do my absolute best to sidestep completely', adding he could not comment on 'the alleged behaviour of one individual'. The councillor concerned says the issue arose from prescribed medication.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY Lancashire Telegraph · 9 Oct 2026: “Farage says Reform will ‘rise above’ stink left by ‘Fartgate’ accusation”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Nigel Farage · Outfit: Reform UK