⚠ THIS IS SATIRE ⚠ The Bellend Times is a comedy site. Every headline is a joke rewrite of a REAL news story – the real facts are in the linked original under each one. About & corrections
Monday 2 November 2026FREE (you get what you pay for)Est. 2026, sadly
The Bellend Times

Patriotically Taking The Mick – Now With 40% More Flags Than Facts

« Westminster Wallies
Westminster WalliesU-TURN

PATRIOTS ACCIDENTALLY MAKE POPPIES NEED A PERMISSION SLIP

Reform's Walsall leader drew up a council dress code so carefully crafted that, as written, councillors would have had to notify the chair before wearing a poppy, a flag pin badge or a military medal – the three things Reform councillors are mainly made of. A last-minute amendment removed them, but the whole thing was rejected anyway as unenforceable, with opponents calling it 'showboating' and 'clumsy'. Next week: a motion requiring advance notice before saluting.

THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS

Walsall's Reform leader Elaine Williams proposed a councillor dress code that, as drafted, required members to notify the chair before wearing poppies, flag pin badges or military medals; she made a last-minute amendment removing them; opponents called it 'showboating' and 'clumsy' and it was rejected as unenforceable.

Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.

REAL STORY Express & Star · 21 Oct 2026: “Reform’s ’embarrassing’ Walsall Council dress code rejected following controversy”

Gaffe-o-Meter: Elaine Williams · Outfit: Reform UK

« Previous shockerNext shocker »

More Westminster Wallies