RIGHT-WING CIVIL WAR CLAIMS FIRST CASUALTY: A COUNCIL SEAT IN DUDLEY
The great battle for the soul of the British right reached Dudley this week, where Reform lost St James's ward to Labour by two votes – two – while Rupert Lowe's Restore Britain collected 159. Nigel Farage, a man who spent years splitting the Tory vote, issued a heartfelt plea: 'Vote Restore, get Labour.' Reform's Ben Bradley pointed out that Restore didn't stand in the Tory-held seats, and Durham's Andrew Husband coined the nickname 'ResTory', which is either a devastating insult or a very bad Italian restaurant. Labour is presumably sending both parties a fruit basket.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
Reform UK lost Dudley's St James's ward to Labour by two votes, with Restore Britain taking 159 votes (6.9%); Farage posted 'Vote Restore, get Labour'; Ben Bradley noted Restore did not stand in the two Tory-held seats, and Durham council leader Andrew Husband called the party 'ResTory'.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY GB News · 30 Oct 2026: “Restore Britain hands Labour victory by two votes as Rupert Lowe accused of doing deal with Tories”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Nigel Farage, Rupert Lowe · Outfit: Reform UK