LOWE HAILS 'INCREDIBLE' FIFTH PLACE AS 124 SCOTS NARROWLY AVOID BEING A QUORUM
Restore Britain has made its historic Scottish debut, and Mid Argyll will never forget it, mainly because it never noticed. Rupert Lowe's candidate finished fifth with 124 first-preference votes – behind the SNP, the Lib Dems, the Tories and even Reform – after Lowe had promised 'patriotic Scots a genuine alternative'. Lowe, as GB News reported, called finishing a couple of dozen votes short of Reform 'Incredible', which, to be fair, is technically true. The party now intends to take its message to the rest of Scotland, as soon as a branch can find a church hall it can afford.
THE BORING BIT: WHAT THE REAL REPORT SAYS
In Restore Britain's first Scottish election, the Mid Argyll by-election, its candidate finished fifth with 124 first-preference votes (7%), behind the SNP (820), Lib Dems, Conservatives and Reform UK (151). Lowe had promised 'patriotic Scots a genuine alternative'; GB News reported him calling the result 'Incredible'. The National notes a Restore branch had appealed for help finding an affordable meeting venue.
Our short summary of the original – read the full report for context. Everything above it is satire.
REAL STORY The National · 30 Oct 2026: “Rupert Lowe's Restore Britain beaten by SNP in Mid Argyll by-election”
Gaffe-o-Meter: Rupert Lowe · Outfit: Restore Britain