The Gaffe-o-Meter
The official, utterly unscientific league table of who keeps turning up in The Bellend Times. One point per story on this site naming them – nothing else counted, nothing made up. Click a name for the evidence (each story links its real source).
Individuals: Top 10
Outfits
- 1Reform UK28
- 2MAGA7
- 3Restore Britain4
- 4AfD2
- 5Assorted 'patriot' groups2
- 6Unite the Right UK1
- 7Pink Ladies1
- 8One Nation1
- 9CPAC UK1
- 10Britain First1
CURRENT CHAMPION: NIGEL FARAGE
10 appearances. Please hold your applause; he may sidestep it.
10 appearances. Please hold your applause; he may sidestep it.
The evidence
Nigel Farage 10
- REFORM LAUNCHES FEARLESS NEW PAPER DEVOTED TO HOLDING ONE MAN TO ACCOUNT (IT'S HIM, HE'S THE MAN) (The Guardian)
- MAN WHO WILL DEFEND BRITAIN'S BORDERS DEFEATED BY A BENCH (The Guardian)
- FARAGE £5M WAS FOR SECURITY, OR BREXIT, OR WHATEVER YOU'RE HAVING (The Guardian)
- TAKE BACK CONTROL OF OUR WATERS, PLEDGES MAN WHO CAN'T FIND PLYMOUTH (JOE)
- FARAGE AND BARDELLA SIGN HISTORIC DEAL, NOW JUST NEED TO AGREE WHAT IT SAYS (The Guardian)
- FARAGE UNVEILS ECONOMIC RESCUE PLAN TO PACKED AUDIENCE OF CHAIRS (Evening Standard)
- ANTI-ELITE PARTY TO DELIVER 15 MILLION COPIES OF ITS OWN PRAVDA, FREE TO ALL (TERMS AND BILLIONAIRES APPLY) (Left Foot Forward)
- FARAGE PROMISES STRAIGHT TALKING, IMMEDIATELY ANNOUNCES HE WILL BE SIDESTEPPING (Lancashire Telegraph)
- REFORM PLEDGES TO SUPPORT WELSH LANGUAGE, GETS TWO OUT OF THREE WORDS WRONG (WalesOnline)
- REFORM DATES DUP AND TUV AT SAME TIME, ASSURES BOTH THAT NIGEL DIDN'T MEAN THAT THING HE SAID (BBC News NI)
Robert Jenrick 6
- FARAGE UNVEILS ECONOMIC RESCUE PLAN TO PACKED AUDIENCE OF CHAIRS (Evening Standard)
- JENRICK IMMORTALISED IN 88FT TAPESTRY, APPEARS ON IT AT ROUGHLY ACTUAL SIZE (The Guardian)
- MAN WHO WAS A TORY FIVE MINUTES AGO SHOCKED TO DISCOVER TORIES ARE POSH (The Guardian)
- JENRICK: FARAGE BASICALLY NELSON MANDELA WITH A PINT (The Guardian)
- JENRICK SLAMS JOURNALIST FOR ASKING JOURNALISM AT HIM (Left Foot Forward)
- REFORM DATES DUP AND TUV AT SAME TIME, ASSURES BOTH THAT NIGEL DIDN'T MEAN THAT THING HE SAID (BBC News NI)
Donald Trump 5
- PRESIDENT PROPOSES NAMING ENTIRE STRETCH OF OCEAN AFTER HIMSELF, ADDS THREE QUESTION MARKS (CNBC)
- TRUMP SECURES HISTORIC GREENLAND DEAL GIVING AMERICA EVERYTHING IT ALREADY HAD (Unilad)
- TRUMP SET TO BECOME UNDEFEATED ALL-TIME CHAMPION OF PRIZE THAT NO LONGER EXISTS (Al Jazeera)
- PRESIDENT WHO HAS 'NEVER STUDIED THE BODY OF A MAN' PROVIDES 4,000-WORD STUDY (The Independent)
- 'WE RE-SKINNED IT': PRESIDENT DESCRIBES WHITE HOUSE RENOVATION IN TERMS LAST USED BY HANNIBAL LECTER (Newsweek)
Rupert Lowe 3
Art Wright 2
Russell Quirk 1
Andrea Jenkyns 1
Malcolm Offord 1
Helen Jenner 1
David Mills 1
Richard Tice 1
- REFORM DISCOVERS HOW DEMOCRACY WORKS, IS FUMING ABOUT IT ON X (The London Economic)
Jordan Bardella 1
Elaine Williams 1
- PATRIOTS ACCIDENTALLY MAKE POPPIES NEED A PERMISSION SLIP (Express & Star)
Cai Parry-Jones 1
- REFORM'S BAD BOYS BRAVELY TAKE ON SENEDD COFFEE TROLLEY (Nation.Cymru)
Iain McIntosh 1
- REFORM'S BAD BOYS BRAVELY TAKE ON SENEDD COFFEE TROLLEY (Nation.Cymru)
Joe Martin 1
- CARDIFF MS DISCOVERS CARDIFF, DELETES LONDON (Nation.Cymru)
Jason O'Connell 1
Dan Thomas 1
Thomas Kerr 1
Pauline Hanson 1
- AUSSIE FIREBRAND FLIES 10,000 MILES TO WARN EMPTY CHAIRS ABOUT LONDON (ABC News (Australia))
Liz Truss 1
- TRUSS CONFERENCE OUTLASTED BY A LETTUCE (SPECTATOR WAS ASLEEP) (ABC News (Australia))